Thursday, May 19, 2005

Extra Ordinary

Tonight, I spent time with one of my married friends. Once again, I found myself sitting in an empty house, so I called her and invited myself over. Not socially accpetable, I know, but I hadn't spent time with her in a while, and I needed to spend time with someone besides the people in the box in my living room.

It was pleasant. This friend is one of those that you can not see for five years, and when you get back together you still have a ton to talk about (unlike the awkward encounter I had with my soon-to-be-married 5th grade boyfriend earlier today). But the thing that was most pleasant about it all was seeing them interact as a married couple. I crashed, conveniently, right at dinner time. It was all so Leave it to Beaver, and I loved it. She was cooking dinner and baking cookies while he cut and watered the lawn. We sat down to the table, he took her hand, and gave thanks for the food. She ironed clothes and washed the dishes, and all the while they talked ... with ease, like they'd been talking to each other like that since they were kids.

It was all so ordinary. I think that's what I liked most about it. Marriage has become so blown up and disoriented in my mind that everything about it seems alien. Like normal life does not go on once you vow to love someone forever. Being single, one tends to think about the obvious things that they are "missing out on" like a big wedding, and sex. It's become that one thing that we think has some magic formula to make us happy. But I think that tonight, more than anything my heart longed to experience the ordinary with someone who I love like a best friend. To talk and laugh and pray and cook and cut grass, not expecting to make each other happy all the time, but being happy in spite of ourselves because we just can't help it.

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