Monday, May 16, 2005

Righteous Anger, or Just More Sin?

I have some idea how Christ felt when he turned over the tables in the temple, though I am sure that my anger is more tainted with sin than I could ever imagine...

Tonight, while attempting to watch the movie About a Boy in the living room of my house, one of my immediate family members, who will remain nameless, noticed a rainbow in the window of one of the character's houses. Upon noticing the rainbow, this person refuses to watch the movie because of the rainbow in the window and what it allegedly stands for.

Having seen the movie before, I know that none of the characters are even gay. But this is beside the point. [Here is the part where my sin comes in]. So, I make some smart ass comment about how what he said was not loving toward homosexuals. And he says, and I quote, "I'm not going to love them," to which I shot back, "Well that's very Christ-like." Then the kicker ... "Well that's where you get off with all that Presbyterian crap." "Loving people is not Presbyterian crap," I said, walking to the back of the house to write this post and simmer in my anger and sin, leaving a perfectly good opportunity to represent Christ and what He stands for.

Although I'm not surprised at his attitude, because I've seen it before, it makes me angry that this is how many Christians think, and even more angry that this attitude exits within my own family. They don't agree with a person's lifestyle, so they decide that they are not worthy of love ... not worthy of a Christian's time, and certainly not of the gospel. But he doesn't realize that his own bigotry is just as disdainful in the sight of God as homosexuality, or any other sin for that matter. Aren't we called to love like Christ did? Spending time with prostitutes ... calling tax collectors out of trees and going to their houses ... allowing your feet to be washed with the hair of harlots? No wonder so many people want nothing to do with Christ - look at what a mockery we are making of him.

And then the presbyterian comment. Sadly this provoked more anger in me than the homosexual issue, mainly because it was a personal stab at me, intended to hurt. And it did.

It is hardest right now for me not to think that I am better or more spiritual than he is for not hating gay people. Am I doing any better to point the finger at him for this, when I am experiencing pride in my own heart? Better yet, am I actively loving homosexuals, and all people for that matter? What then, is righteous anger and are we really capable of it? It seems to me that any experience that I have like this reeks of my own pride. I long for the perfection of glorification, where this tension no longer exists. Where there will be no sin, and I will relate to others in perfect love.

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