This past Sunday was my first Sunday to not work since June. Instead of sleeping late and being lazy all day, I hosted Bible study at my house and cooked breakfast for myself and seven other women. I have missed spending time with these women tremendously, and thought several times that morning how glad I was to be with them. There are glimpses of true community and heaven that I see among that group, and I am so blessed to be a part of it. We spent time discussing the process of change in our lives, drinking coffee, eating a warm meal, laughing, praying, and crying. It was wonderful.
I hadn't realized how much I missed my Day of Rest, and how parched my soul had become from not slowing down in the middle of my hectic life. Just the other night I experienced a moment that seemed to describe the state of my mind perfectly - my roommate was in the kitchen while I breezed through to put things in the sink before I headed out for work, and as I headed to my room to change into my uniform, she called out, "Um, did you mean to put the peanut butter in the sink?" I had absolutely no recollection of putting it there. That is what my brain is like, and its a little unsettling. I've never been one to be less than focused, and now it seems I'm sliding over to the flighty side. Next thing you know the dog will be in the oven.
Not only is my physical state chaotic, but my spiritual state has been as well. There has been a long season of winter, much longer than I'm brave enough to admit, and it was so good to hear others talk about their struggles and their joys. It is a conversation, a chapter of my book, that has been missing. And it has awakened a new hope for real change.
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