Remember how I was going to start English classes this summer? Yeah, I'm not going to do that.
As I suspected, this has been a hard thing for me to admit. I hate making decisions and then turning back. It takes a blow to my pride, and my tendency to think that I know what is best for me. But I became increasingly nervous and dreadful of starting school every time someone would ask me about it. I'm going to take that as a message that I don't really know what I am getting into. So, after a conversation about it with friends at brunch on Sunday, I went home and immediately dropped my classes. And felt very, very relieved.
I am not going to pretend to know the next step this time. I plan to take the summer to work, save some money, be quiet for a while, and wait for some clarity. Come on, clarity.