Monday, March 27, 2006

adult orthodontia

After two years and two months of orthodontic hell, the day has finally come for these pesky little boogers to be ripped from my teeth. I went early this morning, more excited than I've been in a long time about anything. When I walked into the office, there was a white board with the words "Congrats Amanda" scribbled in red. I pass that board every time I go into the office, but it usually has the names of what are probably middle school children on it. But not today. It made me laugh. Congrats, indeed.

I sat down in the chair and got my bibb clipped on to catch all of the crusty, two-year-old glue that would soon be flying from my mouth. The nice assistant asked me if I had any concerns, and I told her about my fear of the drill/buffer thing. Mostly the sound of the drill/buffer thing. She offered to hold my hand, and I politely declined. She leaned me back in the rather uncomfortable green leather chair, and began inspecting my teeth. I noticed that she looked around in there for a while ... too long, in fact. She called in the orthodontist to look at me, and he proceeded to poke around for a few minutes, requesting that I open and close my mouth at least 100 times. Then came the horrible news ... my bottom teeth had rotated and he would be forced to leave the bottom braces on for another week.

Rage. Pure, unadulterated fury. I rose screaming from the chair, ripped my bibb in half, and strangled my orthodontist with the drill chord. He is dead.

3 comments:

jeff said...

Amanda, glad to hear that the braces are off. I miss you like crazy as well. I would love for you all to come up here to Tennessee and hang out. I've been to Christ Community the past two weeks and it really has been a blessing to me. Whenever you all decide to come up let me know so we can plan it.

Jason Harmon said...

Easy killer. Don't want to stain your shirt that the nice ortho assistant covered with a bib to protect you from mouth crusties.

alisa said...

you make me laugh out loud.