Wednesday, April 26, 2006

bathroom bandit

So, yesterday I went to Sam's again for work, which always makes for a good time. Upon entering the store, the big gulp of water that I'd consumed needed to be expelled, so I took a trip to the ladies room before perusing the aisles filled with gallons of mayonnaise and gigantic packs of toilet paper.

My timing on being in the bathroom couldn't have been more perfect ... just as I get settled into my stall, the door to the bathroom opens and a person with a peculiarly deep voice enters. The voice nears the stall next to me and halts to enter, letting out a scruffy "Good Lord, Jesus." I'm freaking out a little ... vowing to not leave my stall until he is gone, so as to avoid the awkward moment where he realizes he's in the wrong restroom. He does his business, and I see his velcroed black sneakers and cane tip slowly make their way toward the door, completely surpassing the hand-washing.

8 comments:

Christopher said...

Bathroom stories...Oh my gosh. That was a good one and I've actually done that before, but I washed my hands...funniest i've ever seen/heard. McDonalds restroom when I was 12...a man was in the stall and as I'm doing my thing, he starts clucking like a chicken and then making noises like a rooster...freaked me out...I washed my hands and RAN out of there. That was weird.

Ginny said...

you know i did that in the wal-mart bathroom. actually walked by a wall of urinals. didn't pay any attention and used the bathroom. wasn't until i sat down that i thought "this all seems backwards, aren't the stalls on the other side of the room." thankfully noone came in

s. wells said...

it's good to know i'm not the only one who's done the whole wal-mart-bathroom-looks-like-they're-
renovating-the-women's-bathroom-oh-
crap-wait-a-second

thing.

amanda said...

Let's get this straight ... I was in the correct bathroom. No urinals ... a baby change station. Dude was in the wrong place.

Jason Harmon said...

I am the bathroom bandit. AKA, the Holy Shitter. Velcro shoes, easy access for instant strike-ablity. Cane, just part of the disguise, but also for coolness. Gruff voice, intimidation factor. The fact that I strike in Sams...that much is obvious, down with Wal-Mart. They drop prices to strong arm smaller business. I've got a different agenda for what I'm dropping.

David said...

LOL....you've got to be kidding me...this would be the first blog I get to read of yours...that is hilarious...
~DD

Angie Davis said...

love reading your blog! such a wonderful mix of wit and vulnerability. i will be back!

jeff said...

thats funny