squirrels, haircuts, and jesus potato chips

There were a few things I wanted to write about that have nothing to do with each other, so here they are in one of my favotire things ... a list.

1. As soon as I pulled my car into the mud/gravel parking lot at my apartment yesterday, Bailey Grace was standing at my car door. This is not uncommon. Bailey gets right down to business, skipping any hello's and how are you's. "Guess what we got," she says in an almost demanding voice. Before I could ask, she was already telling me about the squirrel the she and Uncle Josh had caught, and was leading me toward a cage on the neighbor's back steps. There was a squirrel inside, alright ... a big, angry squirrel making noises I'd never heard a squirrel make before, and jumping furiously around the cage. And then Josh comes up behind me (because what is coming home without a lovely greeting from him?) telling me about how my roommate, Bonnie had gotten mad at him for having this squirrel in the cage. I wished them luck and walked away, sure that when they opened that cage, someone was getting attacked by an angry squirrel. Bonnie greeted me at the back door, and it was apparent that she had been spying on them from the kitchen. She pulled me inside and told me of the plans that Josh had for the squirrel, how he planned to let it go only after "having a little fun" with it. And by "having a little fun" he apparently meant "putting firecrackers up its ass." Nice. To top it all off, Bonnie opened the door again to check on the situation. She stepped back from the door and then pushed me through, urging me to take a look. What I saw was Josh letting the squirrel go (which unfortunately did not attack him). What I falied to see was someone standing on Josh's back steps with a beer and a shotgun. Yes, I said shotgun.
2. Less exciting is the fact that I got yet another haircut on Tuesday. I went in, she asked what I wanted to do, and I told her that it just needed to be shaped up, and that I liked the length it was. I walked out of the salon with hair that is a good 2 inches shorter than it was before, giving me the shortest haircut I've ever had in my life. Apparently, she got confused. Now I look like a dude.
3. The local news in Alabama has succeeded once again at being stupid. Joy and I watched a spectacular report last night on an Alabama woman who found a potato chip with Jesus' face on it. This is pretty much a direct quote from her:
   "I was starting my second bag of potato chips, which I'm not suppsed to have because I'm a diabetic, and all of the sudden my arm was so heavy I couldn't lift it to put the potato chip in my mouth. I tried again, but before I could eat it I saw Jesus' face right there on that potato chip! I figured if God sent that for me to have, I was gonna keep it. I don't wanna throw away my blessing!"
   A few thoughts ... 1) If you have diabetes, please don't down two giant bags of sweet heat potato chips in one sitting. 2) Maybe the heaviness in your arm was you having a heart attack. 3) I'm not really sure why Jesus would choose to put his face on a potato chip, unless he was trying to tell you to stop eating chips, in which case he was successful. 4) Why are these are news stories??