Friday, December 14, 2007

dealing with my crap

Four years ago I was told by a psychiatrist that I needed to seek attention for depression. I was completely freaked out at the time because I kind of knew something was going on with me, but hearing those words made it so concrete and scary. But I'm so thankful for that psychiatrist because if he would've never said that to me, I probably would never have begun to deal with it. I used to think that having depression meant that I was crazy ... that it was a weakness or a sign of weak faith, but walking this road has made me see that it is neither, and that the things that I was thinking and feeling weren't normal or just a part of my personality. Two months ago, my boss told me that I needed to be on medication because I was being a bitch at work. While she didn't use the nicest choice of words, she was definitely right. I was so negative and quick to snap at people. That finally made me want to do something about it. I went to the doctor and she put me on Lexapro, and it has literally changed my life. It really is like you see on the Zoloft commercial ... that sad little blob walking around with a raincloud over its head and then it takes Zoloft and suddenly everything is happy and great. I didn't realize all of the effects that depression was having on me, or really that what I had was truly depression. I've been wondering whether or not I should write about it, and then I ran across this blog today. She really says everything that I would want to say, even though her story is more complex than mine. It's great ... you should read it. As soon as I read it I wanted to give her a high-five or a hug or a present. And then I wanted to write this.

1 comment:

susan said...

I didn't know you were a sad little blob. I'm so sorry, but I am so glad you are doing better now.