Last night was no ordinary night at the Chick-fil-A. I stopped for a quick dinner before photography class, ordered my meal, sat down ... everything was normal. And then - the Cow came in. I don't know what the occasion was, but the people of Chick-fil-A decided to give us the opportunity to have our picture made with the Cow. I sat there, awkwardly eating my sandwich, trying to avoid eye contact with the Cow - or at least, try not to look in the direction of the screen-covered "eyes," behind which lies a mystery Chick-fil-A worker. I can't stand people dressed up in those things. Cows, school mascots, parade animals ... they're all creepy. You can't fool me - I know there's a person in there. And you're creepy because I can't see anything but your inanimate face and the over exaggerated movements you use to compensate for your inability to talk. You're like a mime, but worse.
For children, it's fine. They get excited, probably think it's a real cow, and the squeals and giggles that ensue are undeniably adorable. But there was this one lady, probably about 45, who wanted to have her picture taken with the Cow because she'd just finished her dental hygienist boards. That's right - nothing says "sweet freedom" like you, the Cow, and a Polaroid.
Despite my hatred for people-animals, I must admit that I have been one on several occasions. How one person manages to find themselves in an animal costume more than one time in their life is beyond me. I've done it four times. Yes, FOUR. I was in a service organization in high school that liked to make us dress up like animals. The first year, I was an alligator in a parade. No joke - I got assaulted by teenagers. They hit me and told me I was ugly. The next year, I was a bear. Being that its hard to see in that huge head, I didn't see when the van in front of me stopped and ran smack into it. My next gig was at some random Nickelodeon thing where I was Rocco from Rocco's Modern Life. Alabama heat + costume that other people have been wearing all day = SICK. Oh yeah, and I knocked a kid down with my tail. My last, and possibly best, gig was Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales. I was a seven-foot, inflatable cucumber. Need I say more?
If I ever need to apply to Chick-fil-A, that experience is definitely going on my resume.