Last summer, our company had a picnic at Oak Mountain and had it catered by a man named Delmar, which, in true Southern fashion, is pronounced to rhyme with "Elmer." The man makes fantastic ribs, but it one of the strangest people I have ever met. He has an Old South accent - one that you might hear in the deeps of Georgia. Very eccentric, and maybe even a little narcissistic, Delmar puts off some rather uncomfortable vibes as he talks to you in his lazy drawl and insists that you eat sausage off his fork. One of my favorite quotes from him that day was, "You know, what's that restaurant that all the young kids eat at? Oh, right ... Red Lobster." Red Lobster? Really, Delmar?
Anyway. Today we needed to get in touch with him again to discuss the possibility of doing our Fourth of July cookout. Seeing as how I am a bit wary of ol' Delmar, I begged my supervisor to call him. This is part of their phone conversation:
Delmar: Hello?
Cathy: Hello, Delmar. This is Cathy from [insert company name here].
Delmar: Well, hello! You look good this morning.
Cathy: Thank you, Delmar.
Delmar: And how do you feel this morning?
Cathy: I feel fine, how about yourself?
Delmar: I feel with my hands.
At this point, Cathy scribbles "I hate you" onto a piece of paper and shoves it at me. I bet he feels with his hands. Sick old bastard.
It is moments like these that make office life more interesting. If it can even be interesting to begin with.
4 comments:
Oh. my. gosh. I needed that laugh. I have been studying pharmacology all the live long day and I just laughed out loud alone in my room. That is hilarious. And creepy. And is he still going to cook for the Fourth of July event?
oh dear. i had some similar accounts at my former job. makes you wonder how he seasons his ribs, exactly...
amy :): I'm totally chuckling at your comment, but: EWWW. It was SO good to see you last week, even if it was for a sad occasion. Much love to you, lady.
Mands: You need to bake your supervisor cookies for making that call. Talk about taking one for the team.
wow.
thanks for making the "highlighs" of your day my highlight too.
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