Some people say that life throws curve balls. Tonight, I feel like I'm taking them to the face.
I just emailed a friend who had asked how I was. Sometimes its not until you sit down to really answer that question that you realize how you are. I found myself nearly in tears after I sent the email, partly because I feel overwhelmed, but mostly because I can't really describe why I feel that way. There is so much that is contributing to the feeling that I can't identify what is pressing on me most. Having a crazy work schedule? Taking on an additional job? Starting school again? Trying to navigate financial aid? Being poor and worrying about money all the time? Moving? Possibly moving before the middle of next week? Trying to lose weight and failing miserably? Being lonely? Being so scattered that I feel like the relationships that are important to me are falling through the cracks? YES.
I know that there are people who have problems much larger than mine, and I feel like I have no right to whine about my minuscule tribulations. But sometimes small things pile up and meld into one big thing, which, if ignored for any period of time, begins to swell and ooze ... and before long you're standing in it's remains wondering what happened and who is going to clean up the mess. I can't handle that mess. Not tonight, anyway.
3 comments:
i think you have every right to be overwhelmed...i kept thinking that if all that happened to me that happened to you at once i would be in a heap on my floor. not to discourage but more to sympathize...love you friend and am praying for you.
The LA Pattons are loving you!
1. your tribulations aren't miniscule.
2. i will help you pack/move, just say the word.
love, sara
Post a Comment