I had a dream two nights ago that I forgot about until today, and remembering it made me laugh. I dreamed that I could do twenty-five push-ups in a row. Not the girly kind where you're on your knees, but the real, I'm-tough-and-strong type of push-ups. The weird thing is, I had the same dream about a month ago. But this time in the dream I was just chillin out next to this guy that I used to like, talking to him and doing push-ups like he would be impressed by it. I'm not sure that guys are impressed by girls who do twenty-five push-ups in a row. I could go into all sorts of bizarre interpretations about what this means, but I'd rather just think it's funny and bizarre. I guess it would be nice to be able to do twenty-five push-ups in a row, though.
This made me think of traumatic physical education moments in elementary school. Me, just hanging on the chin-up bar on the playground during a presidential fitness test, a line of kids behind me waiting their turn to do about fifteen of them just to embarrass me. Bastards. I've never been blessed with upper body strength. And what does that mean, anyway ... the "Presidential Fitness Award"? Like the actual president of the United States of America is saying "Way to go, kid ... you're a real chin-up champ!" Whatever.
But the V-sit-and-reach ... now, that was my event. I was a star. All the kids would stand around while I v-sat-and-reached and say things like "Ooo" and "Wow" as my fingers reached well past where all the other kids' did. Take that, chin-up champs. You may have strong arms, but you can't v-sit-and-reach.
7 comments:
ha ha! i'm right there with you. I hated the presidential fitness tests. We used to have to climb up this rope to the ceiling and I could never do it. athletic rejects unite!
I really didn't do well on any one aspect of the presidential fitness test. I think I would do much better now though. One thing remembered: once, during the sit-ups portion [rather, I remember it as the "practice" and not the actual test], I let a few very loud ones rip while sitting up.
Somewhere along the way, I forgot what it was to be embarrassed. That somewhere, however, was not in elementary, middle, or high school. Now, I'd probably try to do it on purpose. Then, I was quite mortified and sad.
I sucked at the pull-ups and the v-stretch. I did, however, get 3rd place in the obstacle-course contest when I was in kindergarten.
I once hit a gypsey with a potato from 50 yards away.
this is absolutely hiliarious. As a kid, I used to show off how fast of a sprinter I was. It wasn't until recently that I could do twenty-five push-ups in a row. I don't think presidential fitness tests took place in Florida.
That's too bad, Jeff. You could've had a lot of awkward, embarrassing moments with everyone in you class looking on. You missed out.
My three brothers got the Presidential Award once (yes homeschoolers can get it too). It's just a piece of paper with "Presidential Fitness Award" in silver letters, a brief paragraph about why you're getting it, and his signature. and I really really doubt he signed it.
Amy Porter
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