guest blogger

My friend Sara told me a story last night that almost made me pee. I asked her if she would mind doing a guest blog, and she agreed. So here's the story ... hope you're near a bathroom.

I stopped by the Galleria after my dentist's appointment to grab some bubble tea (it's the only place that sells it), and stopped by some of the crazy clearance sales. In one of the stores, let's call it "Talbots", I tried on several tops and a few pairs of pants. Well, one of the pairs of pants I had on for a bit to see how the tops would go with it. After a few different tops, I decided to take off the pants. (DISCLAIMER- The pants were, in fact, the appropriate size. Trust me. This is why the story is so amusing.)

Well, this is where the problems started. See, as I pulled on the zipper of these side-zip pants, it wouldn't budge. At all. So I tried a few times, then thought "well, I'll just try on a few more tops, and then come back to this." And it still wouldn't budge. Now I'm starting to sweat, thinking, "Oh my gosh, I'm stuck in these pants, I have to go back to work, and I don't even like this old-lady style. Oh my gosh." Sweat. Oh my gosh. Sweat. So I decide that I have to swallow my pride and find someone to help me. Talk about vulnerable, "excuse me, can you help me get out of these pants, stranger-saleswoman?" So I hear one of the 'more mature' salesladies in the dressing room, making sure we're all doing well (that's how they roll at "Talbots"). So I stick my head out and ask for help getting this side zipper down. She tries (feebly, I might add) a few times, then says she'll go grab another saleslady.

Well, this lady is working the register, so now I'm a spectacle-- There are about 4 women out there, and the older lady announces that I need help getting out of my pants. So the younger woman tries (with gusto) to get this stuck zipper down. I have realized that the zipper is split in the area that is all the trouble. (Again, I remind you that the pants were NOT too small, though I am sure that is what the other women assumed.) Well, she has no success, so they have to CUT ME OUT of my pants. Yeah. So I was "that girl" that had to be cut out of the pants she was trying on. I'm sure that was a fun tale of the day for them to tell their families. I did make some purchases, but slunk out of there nonetheless. Any shopping excursion that ends with me saying "and thank you for cutting me out of those pants"-- well, I'm not even sure how to finish this sentence.

Takeaways from this story:
Try on old-lady pants with much caution.
Side zippers are wonderful when various people are trying to help you out of your pants. Much less awkward than a traditional fly would have been.
When all else fails, scissors can solve your problems.

Thanks, Sara! That definitely goes down as my favorite story of the week.