Monday, June 15, 2009

women, the church, & sex

It seems that I have been having the same conversation with every single woman in my life lately. Every car ride, dinner, or cup of coffee has led to discussions of single Christian women and our views, struggles, and misconceptions regarding lust and sex. For years this has been a taboo topic in the church, and viewed as strictly a "male problem."

I have this to say to single Christian women everywhere: It is completely normal for us to want to have sex! In fact, by biological standards, it is abnormal for us to NOT be having it. True, our drives might not rival those of of men, but they are present and powerful - especially during certain times in our cycles (thanks for making me feel like a man, Ovulation). This does not make us perverted or dirty, it makes us creatures created by God to enjoy the gift of sex. We have God-given drives and desires just like men do, and to ignore the fact that so many of us are struggling with lust and feeling like crazy people because of it is a disservice to our mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

It hasn't been until the past few years that I have felt free enough to discuss this with other women. Or maybe it just hasn't been as much of an issue for me until I hit my late twenties and my baby-maker started going crazy. But over and over again, I am hearing women say that they think about sex - a lot. That is takes everything in their power to not jump their boyfriends (or non-boyfriends, for that matter), or look at a man with lust. It is real, and it needs to be acknowledged and addressed.

If we are to be pleasing to God in this area* it is going to take honesty with each other, and the willingness to ask hard questions. The last thing that my flesh wants to do is stay pure. In fact, I will be the first to admit that my past and my present are full the brim with impurity. Sexual sin is one of the hardest to resist, and one that has devastating consequences and effects on our spiritual lives. I hope to have many more conversations with friends, and address the issues in my own life - though reluctantly at times, I'm sure. I hope to take what sometimes seems impossible and place it in the hands of Jesus, and to help and be helped to do that.


* Matt. 5:8; Job 31:11-12; Ex. 20:14, 17; 1 Thes. 4:7-8; Eph. 5:3

5 comments:

Bridge said...

ooooo....scandelous.

Shana said...

nicely put, mandy. and did I mention that I am regularly having sex with most men i come in contact with lately...its pretty damn good. and freeing. orrrrrr....it's opposite day.

april said...

oh friend....if I still lived there we would HAVE to grab coffee and have a long chat. I remember from ages 25-well...34 (today) having conversations with women about this and them looking at me like I had 10 heads. I always wanted to find someone who would be honest with me, not make me feel more shame than I already did, and ask me hard questions too. We would soooooo be friends.....

Amy said...

Girls talk about it more than guys. I really and truly think so. It's almost my favorite subject.

Principessa said...

I agree wholeheartedly! I am so glad to read this!